Better
by illiriahrising
Summary: Third in a series of Ronon and Elizabeth vignettes. After Rodney's experience in Grace Under Pressure Ronon visits him in the infirmary and encounters Col. Caldwell. Can Ronon overcome anger and jealousy to be the kind of man Elizabeth deserves?


Summary: After Rodney's harrowing experience in "Grace Under Pressure" Ronon visits him in the infirmary and encounters Col. Caldwell there. Can Ronon overcome his own anger and jealousy to be the kind of man Elizabeth deserves?

Author's Note: This is the 3rd in a series of vignettes/episode tagsthat I have been writing featuring Elizabeth and Ronon & the growing relationship between the twoof them. I like to think that it could be cannon if we were just given a few more minuteshere and there before the end credits rolled.

_Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis and its characters are not mine. They are the property of MGM Studios, The Sci Fi Channel, and Acme Shark. This story was created for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended. _

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It felt strange, caring about other people after living for so long only worrying about his own survival, but Ronon did care about the people of Atlantis. Sometimes it surprised him that he was still able to feel anything at all. Seven years of using his anger and hatred to fuel him could have burned away every other emotion he'd ever had. Sometimes he wondered if that wouldn't have been better. 

The infirmary doors loomed ahead of him and he stepped inside, his eyes searching for McKay. He should have used his ears instead.

"I asked for blue Jell-O. This is yellow and it has a distinctly lemony scent, which would tend to indicate that it is lemon flavored, and if you were any kind of decent medical professional you would have seen by my chart that I am violently allergic to citrus. Why don't you just serve me a nice Drain-O smoothy while you're at it?"

The nurse took the tray Rodney thrust in her direction and for a moment she wondered if cracking him over the head with it went against her nursing pledge. Erring on the side of caution though, she gripped the tray more firmly and turned away from him.

"One blue Jell-O, coming right up…your highness!" she mumbled as she stalked off in the direction of the mess hall, passing Ronon on her way out.

"I see you're feeling better."

The deep rumble of Ronon's voice seemed to startle Rodney and he winced as he turned to face his visitor, raising a hand gingerly to the large gauze pad that was taped to his forehead.

"No, actually I'm not feeling better. Nurse Rachet over there was just trying to send me into anaphylactic shock…not for the first time I might add and this mattress is killing my back."

A faint grin tugged at the tall Satedan's lips. "When's Beckett gonna release you?"

Rodney fidgeted with his blanket. "Tomorrow, which is none too soon for me." He suddenly began examining his forearms. "Oh my God! I don't believe it! She gave me a wool blanket! I am very sensitive to wool. This is just great! Not only do I have a head injury but now I have a raging case of hives! If these things reach my throat my airway could swell shut! I could completely stop breathing!"

Carson, having heard the increasingly hysterical note in Rodney's voice came up beside Ronon. "What seems to be the trouble, Rodney?"

"The trouble is that a member of your staff is trying to kill me!" Rodney replied stretching his arms out before him, the small red welts only faintly visible on his fair skin.

Face impassively calm Carson examined the hives. "They're hives."

"I know they're hives, Carson! And the reason I have them is that I am being swaddled in wool! I'd be better off in my own quarters; At least there I know that I won't have to worry about being smothered in my sleep!"

Through all of Rodney's ranting Ronon had watched and listened, wondering if McKay ever got tired of finding things to complain about. He tried to imagine him on the run from the Wraith, sleeping on the ground, eating whatever he could scrounge.

McKay wouldn't have lasted a day.

"You're not going to be murdered by one of the medical staff, Rodney, though I can't say I'd fault one of them for attempting it the way you've been treating them all." Rodney opened his mouth to argue, but Carson cut him off. "A simple dose of antihistamine will get rid of the hives and if you promise to stop harassing everyone and get some rest, I'd be much more inclined to release you tomorrow."

Apparently the thought of getting out of the infirmary a day earlier than expected was enough to make Rodney forget about the nurse bent on his demise and he smiled broadly.

"Fine, I'll rest… as long as you make sure the angel of death keeps her distance!"

Rolling his eyes Carson nodded and went in search of the medication, leaving Ronon standing mutely beside Rodney's bed just as he had been when Carson had arrived.

"Well, guess I better let you rest."

Rodney seemed to have forgotten Ronon's presence in the wake of his near-death experience. "Oh, right. Well…thanks for stopping in to check on me. It was surprisingly… uh…_supportive_ of you."

With a brief nod Ronon smiled uncertainly and turned away sauntering toward the doors. He was almost over the threshold when he caught sight of Colonel Caldwell tucked into a far corner of the infirmary. He paused in his path to the exit, his teeth clenching automatically, his hand squeezing itself into a fist before he could stop it. The older man turned and caught a pair of wary green eyes watching him. He frowned, his own eyes holding a hint of remorse then he rolled over leaving Ronon staring at his back.

Rodney began complaining again in the distance, something about a draft and waking up with a sore neck tomorrow but Ronon ignored it and continued back out into the corridor.

McKay would be fine. He wasn't so sure about Caldwell.

The entire way back to his quarters Ronon's mind kept returning to the colonel and to what he had done to the man only a few days ago. He didn't regret it. Atlantis had been on the verge of being destroyed. They had acted to save not only the city but everyone in it. No, he didn't regret beating the hell out of Caldwell. What had his gut tied into a hard knot of frustration though, was that he didn't know if he had done it for the right reasons. At the time, he'd rationalized that he was doing it for the good of everyone, for the sake of saving the city, but there had been a part of him that had been waiting for an excuse to take a few good swings at the Colonel for months.

He palmed his door open and went inside, pacing the room, feeling suddenly caged in by his own conscience. He'd never had anything against Caldwell really. Sure, he'd felt a little resentment toward the man when he'd moved his things into Sheppard's office, but Atlantis had needed a commanding military officer and Sheppard hadn't been up to the job in the state he was in. Ronon had understood why Colonel Caldwell had stepped in and he'd accepted it. What he was having a harder time accepting it seemed, was the Colonel's obvious attraction to Elizabeth Weir.

Guilt and frustration burned inside him.

He'd been angry at Caldwell for lying to them and putting their lives at risk. He'd been worried that without the code Atlantis would be destroyed, but as he stopped pacing and looked out at the dark expanse of ocean that surrounded the city, he had to admit that jealousy had overridden both of those emotions.

He knew that he didn't have the right to care how other men looked at Elizabeth. She wasn't his, but that didn't change the way he felt about her. Every time he'd caught Caldwell's eyes lingering on her over the past few months all he'd wanted to do was put a hole through the guy. Well, he'd gotten his chance and it didn't feel nearly as satisfying as he had hoped it would.

He hadn't had to worry about things like remorse or guilt while he'd been running for his life, but he wasn't running any longer and now his conscience was catching up with him. He was pretty sure that he knew what she'd do in his place. She'd go to see Caldwell. She'd apologize for what had happened and try to make things right. It was what she did, who she was. It was one of the reasons he respected her.

Was he strong enough to put his own personal feelings about Caldwell aside? Ronon wasn't sure, but he knew that if he ever hoped to put his past behind him he had to try. Right now he wasn't nearly good enough for Elizabeth Weir; he knew he might never be, but she made him want to be better than he was. She made him want to be more than what the Wraith had turned him into.

As always once he'd made his decision Ronon didn't wait to act. He gritted his teeth and drew in a long breath before turning back toward the doors of his quarters and stepping through them. A moment later he was striding down the corridor heading back toward the infirmary.


End file.
